


“Say no to this”

by Savasta_101



Series: Hamilton HP song fics [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Evil Dumbledore, Forbidden Love, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24198058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savasta_101/pseuds/Savasta_101
Summary: While Lucius is away torturing muggles, Voldemort is paid a visit by Severus Snape, who claims he is being mistreated by the evil headmaster Dumbledore. Voldemort helps him out, and soon the two are caught in an affair...
Relationships: Lucius Malfoy/Voldemort, Severus Snape/Voldemort
Series: Hamilton HP song fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746427
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	“Say no to this”

[Potter:]  
There’s nothing like Severus and his witty  
Way of being pretty  
There’s magic in the air, you can smell it  
And Voldemort’s by himself, I'll let him tell it.

[Voldy:]  
I hadn't slept in a week  
I was weak, I was awake  
I was plotting how to put Potter’s head on a stake  
You never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break  
Longing for Lucius  
Missing his firm thighs  
That’s when Mr Severus Snape walked into my life, he said:

[Snape:]  
I know you are a wizard of dishonour  
I'm so sorry to bother you at your evil lair but,  
I don't know where to go, and I came here all alone

[Voldy:]  
He said:

[Snape:]  
Dumble’s doin’ me wrong  
Making me teach brats, and though I’m beatin’ em, mistreatin’ em...  
They’re still such pests  
I don’t have the means to go on

[Voldy:]  
So I offered him a loan, I offered to apparate him home, he said:

[Snape:]  
You're too kind, my Dark Lord

[Voldy:]  
I gave him thirty galleons that I had socked away  
He lived an apparition away, he said:

[Snape:]  
Spinner’s End's mine, my Dark Lord

[Voldy:]  
Then I said, well, I should head back to my evil lair  
He turned red, he led me to his potions lab  
Let his legs spread and said:

[Snape:]  
Stay?

[Voldy:]  
Hey...

[Snape:]  
Hey...

[Voldy:]  
That's when I began to pray:  
Merlin, show me how to   
Say no to this  
I don't know how to   
Say no to this

But Gallopin’ Gorgons, he looks so helpless  
And his body's saying, “My Dark Lord, yes.”

[Snape:]  
Whoa

[Voldy:]  
No, show me how to 

[Voldy/tortured Hufflepuff ensemble]  
Say no to this

[Voldy:]  
It’s like I’ve been imperioed I can’t

[Voldy/tortured Hufflepuff ensemble]  
Say no to this  
In my mind, I'm tryin' to go 

[tortured Hufflepuff ensemble]  
Go! Go! Go!

[Voldy:]  
Then his mouth is on mine, and I don't say...

[tortured Hufflepuff ensemble]  
No! No!  
Say no to this!  
No! No!  
Say no to this!  
No! No!  
Say no to this!  
No! No!  
Say no to this!

[Voldy:]  
I wish I could say that was the last time  
I said that last time, it became a pastime  
A month into this endeavor I received a howler  
From a Prof. Dumbledore, even better, it said:

[Dumbles:]  
Dear Tom Riddle, I hope this letter finds you in bad health  
And in a prosperous enough position to put galleons  
In the pockets of wizards like me: down on their Felix Felicis  
You see, that was my potions master who you decided to 

[Voldy:]  
Fuuuu...

[Dumbles:]  
Uh oh! You made the wrong sucker a cuckold  
So time to pay the price for the wand you unsheathed  
And hey, you can keep seein' my traitorous spy  
If the price is right, if not I'm telling Lucius and his wife

[Voldy:]  
I banished the howler and I raced to his place  
Crucioed him screaming “How could you!”, he said:

[Snape:]  
No, my Dark Lord!

[Voldy:]  
Half dressed, hair greasy  
A mess, he looked pathetic, he cried:

[Snape:]  
Please don't go, my Dark Lord!

[Voldy:]  
So was your whole story a setup?

[Snape:]  
I don't know about any howler!

[Voldy:]  
Merlin stop crying, get up!

[Snape:]  
I didn't know any better

[Voldy:]  
I am ruined...

[Snape (Voldy):]  
Please don't leave me with Dumbles helpless (I am helpless how could I do this?)  
Just give him what he wants and you can have me (I don't want you, I don't want you)  
Whatever you want, if you pay  
You can stay

[Snape (Voldy) {tortured Hufflepuffs ensemble}:]  
(Merlin, show me how to say no to this) {Say no to this}  
Tonight (I don't know how to say no to this) {Say no to this}  
('Cause the situation's helpless)  
Helpless  
(And the children in Sev’s dungeon are screaming, “Merlin, yes.”)  
Whoa!  
(No, show me how to say no to this) {Say no to this} (whoa)   
How can you say no to this? (How can I say no to this?) {Say no to this}  
(There is nowhere I can go) {Go! Go! Go!}  
(When his toned body's on mine I do not say) {No!}  
(Yes) Yes {Say no to this! No!}  
(Yes) Yes {Say no to this! No!}  
(Yes) Ye-ye-yes {Say no to this! No!}  
(Yes) Yes {Say no to this! No!}  
(Say no to this...)  
(It’s like a confundus I)  
Can’t say no to this  
(There is nowhere I can go)  
{Go! Go! Go!}

[Dumbles:]  
So?

[Voldy:]  
Nobody needs to know


End file.
